Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post Reply
Richard Petty
Posts: 3114
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Richard Petty »

Our neighbour's dog pooed in our garden, so the missus told me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence...

I don't see what that solved, we've still got dog poo in our garden and the neighbours now have our shovel!
The old saying goes "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you will never please all the people all the time." In fact sometimes it seems impossible to even please some of the people any of the time
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6763
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

My mate told me that he failed his exam in Aboriginal music.
I said didja redo it ?
1-4-0-5 formation
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6763
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

I've just had a letter from a herb and spice company, saying that I owe them £100...

If I don't pay within a week, they're sending the bay leafs round!
1-4-0-5 formation
Chalkie
Posts: 285
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Chalkie »

My wife has left me for another man.
All that lies ahead is a miserable pointless life.

And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub every night with my mates.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy ****....What a ride!"
shots1965
Posts: 1401
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:16 pm
Location: Oklahoma USA
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by shots1965 »

A guy goes to a nightclub
The bouncer says .. You’ve had too many
The guy says too many drinks?

No, Too many birthdays
Aldershot Gas
Posts: 71
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:32 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Aldershot Gas »

I told my wife I'd heard the postman had slept with every woman on the street, except for one.
She said: 'I bet it's that stuck-up bitch at no. 17'
South Coast Shot
Posts: 375
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:20 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by South Coast Shot »

I wish my hairdresser friend wouldn’t serve lunch in her salon. We had Sunday roast with all the trimmings.
I'm here all week. Or at least until I'm banned.
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6763
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

Have you noticed how many Formula One drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?
Stirling Moss.
Lewis Hamilton.
Eddie Irvine.
Ayr Town centre...
1-4-0-5 formation
Fuggletim
Posts: 1402
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

I’ve never had great expectations for my children. However we do have a complete set of Dicken’s other books….
Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6763
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

Fuggletim wrote: Sat Jul 02, 2022 11:44 am I’ve never had great expectations for my children. However we do have a complete set of Dicken’s other books….
We can't afford the set of Dickens Books as we have fallen on Hard Times
1-4-0-5 formation
HarryTom
Posts: 1757
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by HarryTom »

Winston goes to church and the vicar says 'whats wrong my son'....Winston says 'i want you to prey for my hearing " The vicar put's his hands on Winston's ear's and prey's hard for ten minutes ,' So how is your hearing now ask's the vicar' 'I don't know say's Winston, it not until next Wednesday !
HarryTom
Posts: 1757
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by HarryTom »

John is playing golf with the vicar, he misses a 3 foot putt,and say's 'damn. missed the bugger.......The vicar warns him, 'keep talking like thatand God will open up the heavens and strike you dead with lightning '....... John then misses a 2 foot put and repeats 'damn, missed the bugger' Sure enough, God opens the heavens and sends down a lightning bolt, but it strikes the vicar and he falls over dead....' damn, missed the bugger '. God said !
HarryTom
Posts: 1757
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by HarryTom »

I went to a Halloween Party where everyone was like a sore thumb........Not me..no,,i stuck out like a vicar !
HarryTom
Posts: 1757
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by HarryTom »

A vicar was preaching on the Demon Drink, saying Whisky can kill but water can't...To prove it he had a glass of each. He dropped a worm into the water and it wriggled about,He dropped a worm into the Whisky...Stone Dead ! A person at the back jumped up shouting 'i''ll have the Whisky,I've been having trouble with worms all my life !
HarryTom
Posts: 1757
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by HarryTom »

When you have Monkey Pox. it is alway's exciting to hear the doctor say,'Dear God,what the hell is that !!

Post Reply