Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

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HarryTom
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Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by HarryTom »

I said to the wife on holiday ''that bloody lighthouse is getting on my nerves..on off on off on off' she said ' you would blink if you had crabs on your rocks !!
HarryTom
Posts: 1757
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by HarryTom »

Used to do a bit of boxing... the last fight i had the guy hit me so hard, i had to pay to get back in !
baldershot
Posts: 111
Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:27 pm
Location: Solihull
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by baldershot »

I called the wrong number today. I said 'Hello, is Jimmy there?' A woman answered and she said 'Yes he is.' And I said ‘Can I speak to him please?’ She said ‘No, he can’t talk right now, he’s only two months old.' I said 'Alright, I’ll wait.'"
Richard Petty
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Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Richard Petty »

Anon E Mouse wrote: Sat Jun 25, 2022 1:31 pm Apparently Robinsons and Wimbledon have ended their 86 year partnership.
The break up was described as cordial
Oh yes, that's a good one. Thanks Anon I will use that one :lol:
The old saying goes "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you will never please all the people all the time." In fact sometimes it seems impossible to even please some of the people any of the time
Fuggletim
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Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

I made a model of Ben Nevis. My other half asked was it to scale? I said, no; just for display.
Anon E Mouse
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Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

Called the local Chinese takeaway and asked for the specials.

Ended up with too much foo yung…
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Chalkie
Posts: 285
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Chalkie »

I went to a really trendy nightclub last night.
The doorman said to me, "Sorry mate, you've had too many!"
I said, "What drinks?"
He said, "No, birthdays!"
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy ****....What a ride!"
Anon E Mouse
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Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

I was once presented with some gravy granules by the Queen…

It was the greatest honour she could bisto upon me.
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Fuggletim
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Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

Reports are coming in of a cargo ship carrying vegetables sinking in the Straits of Dover. Early reports suggest there are a couple of leeks in the hold…..
Anon E Mouse
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Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

I was in a queue at a supermarket near Glastonbury yesterday and saw Diana Ross trying to push in. I said 'you can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait'
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Fuggletim
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Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

I bought an ABBA themed toilet! What a loo!
Shots1954
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Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Shots1954 »

Anon E Mouse wrote: Sat Jun 25, 2022 1:31 pm
Shots1954 wrote: Sat Jun 25, 2022 11:59 am Exit signs? They’re on the way out!.......
A Tim Vine classic :D
:D
Fuggletim
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Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim »

I was working in the Rex Cinema Box Office in Haslemere (might stir a few memories for some of a certain age) when someone came back 2 x minutes after buying a ticket. I told them that they had just bought one and why did they need another?

They replied “Because the usherette upstairs tore it in half……”
Anon E Mouse
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Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

I’ve got a portrait of Diana Ross that I want to hang above my door but it’s proving difficult as there ain’t no mounting high enough...
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Anon E Mouse
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse »

My wife said to me “There’s 14 reasons why I’m leaving you, and don’t even get me started on your tennis obsession!”

I said “Well that’s 15, love...”
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