Boom Boom

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Shots1954
Posts: 442
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Mon Oct 26, 2020 7:19 pm

Good news, I got the job I wanted at the Chess factory. Bad news is, I’m on Knights next week!

Shots1954
Posts: 442
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Mon Oct 26, 2020 7:19 pm

A third off books at Waterstones today ; I got “ The Lion , The Witch”

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2824
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Oct 26, 2020 9:19 pm

My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy.

What planet is she on?

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2824
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Oct 26, 2020 9:20 pm

The wife gave me a shopping list:
Bread, jam, marmalade, hot chocolate, black eyed peas and a meatloaf.

Where do I go for these?
Tesco or HMV?

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2824
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Oct 26, 2020 9:21 pm

I met a transvestite from Greater Manchester yesterday...

He had a Wigan address.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2824
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Oct 26, 2020 9:21 pm

I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down...

And then the penne dropped.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2824
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Oct 26, 2020 9:22 pm

Brain:
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it

Me:
“Starting to get dark already...”

Fuggletim
Posts: 441
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon Oct 26, 2020 9:28 pm

Vampires are generally good at mathematics, but only if you Count Dracula. 😈

Shots1954
Posts: 442
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Wed Oct 28, 2020 5:33 pm

If a man says he'll fix it he'll fix it . No need to remind him every 6 months!

Shots1954
Posts: 442
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Wed Oct 28, 2020 5:36 pm

If you see someone bobbing about in the sea, how do you know their gender? If they sink they’re a girl, if they float, they’re a bouy!

Shots1954
Posts: 442
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Wed Oct 28, 2020 5:37 pm

If anyone wants to come & talk to me about my shoddy joinery work...

My door is always open!

WTF
Posts: 532
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Wed Oct 28, 2020 7:55 pm

Do you wear glasses?

Have you been forced to wear a facemask?
You may be entitled to condensation!

Call Covid Legal NOW!

Shots1954
Posts: 442
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Wed Oct 28, 2020 10:59 pm

Aren’t we lucky blinds were invented.

If they weren’t it would be curtains for all of us!!!

Shots1954
Posts: 442
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Oct 29, 2020 2:20 pm

The RAF are testing a new plane which looks like a toothpaste tube.... One fluoride past my house yesterday!

80fc
Posts: 217
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:20 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by 80fc » Thu Oct 29, 2020 5:37 pm

When I was young my mum used to say my bedroom was like a rubbish tip. Any way I think that's what she said, I couldn't really hear her above the sound of seagulls


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