Boom Boom

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Shots1954
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Jan 10, 2021 9:22 am

What happened to the robber who stole a calendar ?

He got 12 months!

Shots1954
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Jan 10, 2021 8:04 pm

As the dog sat watching the orchestra, he stared at the conductor and thought..

"Just throw the dam thing."
🐶

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:35 am

My first girlfriend dumped me because of my obsession with Barry Manilow

Her name was Lola, she was a show girl

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:41 am

Man walks upto the Kremlin, knocks on the door and shouts “ Is Len In”?

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:42 am

I've been balancing this large, black, flat disc on my head for 5 days now.
I think it could be a record!

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:43 am

This morning I gave a Handyman a list of 5 things to do at my house - when I got home he had only done 1 3 and 5 on the list - turns out he only does odd jobs!

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:45 am

Some people have said my consumption of brake fluid is bordering on addiction. I disagree, I can stop at anytime.

WTF
Posts: 620
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Tue Jan 12, 2021 9:46 am

A man goes to the doctor’s with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor. The doctor replies “You’re not eating properly.”.....

Shots1954
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:39 pm

I once knew a girl named Carmen Cohen. When she was at school, some teachers called her Carmen and others called her Cohen. She didn't know if she was Carmen or.........

Shots1954
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:44 pm

Put some Tipp-ex in a friends tea for a joke, he went to the toilet, hav'nt seen him since!

Shots1954
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Tue Jan 12, 2021 10:45 pm

Got stung by a bee, ten quid for a jar of honey!

Shots1954
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Jan 14, 2021 10:04 am

There’s a new film coming out called “Carry on Fishing”.
It’s like the old Carry On films but with a different cast!

Shots1954
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Jan 14, 2021 10:20 am

I went for a hearing test and the doctor asked me to explain the symptoms.
I said, well Homer is a fat yellow bloke and his wife Marge has blue hair!

Shots1954
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Jan 14, 2021 10:21 am

My fear of heights was far worse when I climbed trees. I was sicker more.

Shots1954
Posts: 630
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Thu Jan 14, 2021 10:22 am

Not only have I been selected for my local woodworking team, I've also been made vice- captain.... 👍☺️


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