Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4865
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Sep 12, 2021 10:04 pm

My wife and I have taken up woodworking. My neighbour asked if we were carpenters.
I said
"we've only just begun. "

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4865
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 13, 2021 6:35 am

I called up the doctor and said, "Doctor, my wife is going into labour and her contractions are coming really fast. What should I do?"

"Is this her first child?" he asked.

"No, this is her husband."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4865
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 13, 2021 7:25 am

I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits, but had to take them back as the seal was broken!

Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon Sep 13, 2021 4:21 pm

Now I wouldn't say my credit score is dubious, but I went into the bank in Aldershot today and they wouldn't even lend me a pen!

Richard Petty
Posts: 1728
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Sep 13, 2021 6:55 pm

I'm making a new documentary series on how to fly a plane...

We're currently filming the pilot!

Richard Petty
Posts: 1728
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Sep 13, 2021 6:56 pm

I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot…

If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4865
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Sep 14, 2021 3:33 pm

I got fired from Argos after designing a brochure containing only clothes horses. It was a catalogue of airers.

Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Tue Sep 14, 2021 7:30 pm

A few years ago I had a sniffer dog sit down next to me at Gatwick Airport. Its handler said to me:

"Rex is telling me you might have drugs on you!"

"Drugs on me?" I asked; "Come on! You're the one who thinks the dog is talking to you!"

Note: This joke is for amusement purposes and didn't really happen! 😁

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4865
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Sep 15, 2021 8:01 am

I see coat of wool
And toggles too
It keeps me warm
Wish I had two
And I think to myself
What a one duffle world...

Richard Petty
Posts: 1728
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Sep 15, 2021 10:34 am

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.

I really am on a lucky streak, first I win the lottery, and now this!

Richard Petty
Posts: 1728
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Sep 15, 2021 10:35 am

Saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay this morning and I thought to myself, "I wonder what his handicap is?"

Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Wed Sep 15, 2021 9:40 pm

I always liked going to antique fairs, but over the years I got fed up and there was never anything new......

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4865
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Sep 16, 2021 8:13 am

When it's sunny I think, 'Beer garden.'

When it rains I usually go to the pub for a while.

When it's snowing I like to sit in front of the TV with a case of beer.

I'm starting to think I have a problem with the weather!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4865
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Sep 16, 2021 8:16 am

My friend Iain has one eye bigger than the other!

Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Fri Sep 17, 2021 8:30 pm

I am going to a "Recycling" themed party tomorrow! The invite says bring a bottle!


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