- Posts: 5059
- Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Wow. That’s a weeks worth all in one go .shots1965 wrote: ↑Thu May 07, 2020 7:01 pmA man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Want to hear a roof joke? The first one's on the house.
What should you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns? Go straight for the juggler.
Why don't koalas count as bears? They don't have the right
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I saw a movie about how ships are put together. It was riveting.
A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, "This is a library." The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please."
Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn't like it when she went the extra mile.
What do you get when you pour root beer into a square cup? Beer.
A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together. The charge? Attempted murder.
How do you look for Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the fresh prints.
Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore.
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine's Day to dance? The Meat Ball!
What time does a duck wake up? The quack of down
Some people eat snails. They must not like fast food
Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
It's always windy in a sports area. All those fans
How do mountains stay warm in the winter? Snowcaps.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me!
- Posts: 324
- Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 5:43 pm
paddy works on a building site and wants a day off so he says to murphy im going to pretend to be mad so paddy climbs the rafters and hangs upside down and shouts out im a light bulb the works foreman says paddy have you gone mad and sends him home murphy starts to pack up his kit to leave as well when the foreman says where do you think your going murphy to which murphy replies i cant work in the feckin dark