Boom Boom

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Richard Petty
Posts: 1865
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Aug 23, 2021 10:31 pm

Smoothies, the miracle of being able to charge £5.00 for a peach and a banana.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5060
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 24, 2021 8:55 am

BREAKING NEWS!
Big delays on the motorway this morning after a truck carrying grain collided with an Ovaltine lorry.

Police describe it as a malty vehicle accident...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5060
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 24, 2021 9:05 am

My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.

"Did you smell that food?" she said. "It was absolutely incredible, and it is our anniversary tomorrow," she added.

"Sod it ," I thought. I'll treat her...

So I walked her past it again the next day !

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5060
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Aug 24, 2021 9:08 am

I’m selling a broken pub quiz machine online. No questions asked.

Richard Petty
Posts: 1865
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Thu Aug 26, 2021 4:21 pm

IMPORTANT: Please wear your mask it saves lives.

Yesterday a friend of mine was out with his girlfriend and bumped into his wife in the supermarket, thankfully he was wearing his mask so his wife did not recognise him. My friends mask definitely saved his life.

Fuggletim
Posts: 963
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Aug 26, 2021 5:28 pm

I went to the bookshop and asked them where the "Self Help" section was? The assistant told me it would defeat the object if they told me....

shots1965
Posts: 991
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:16 pm
Location: Oklahoma USA
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shots1965 » Thu Aug 26, 2021 6:02 pm

Richard Petty wrote:
Mon Aug 23, 2021 5:03 pm
Why can't you watch TV in Afghanistan?

Because of the tellyban!


Too soon ????...............
That joke is at least 20 years old
😀

Fuggletim
Posts: 963
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Aug 28, 2021 1:05 pm

I was once told I made a terrible racquet at work. That was the end of my job in the sports equipment factory.

Fuggletim
Posts: 963
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sun Aug 29, 2021 10:49 am

I was in the library the other day and wanted to log on to their Wifi. I asked the Librarian what the password was and she just said: "Shhhhhhhuuuussshhhh"

I asked if that was in uppercase or lowercase?

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5060
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 29, 2021 2:56 pm

My wife just accused me of looking like someone who doesn’t know how to shave properly...

Bloody cheek!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5060
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Aug 29, 2021 3:19 pm

I went to a fancy dress competition last night dressed as a giraffe...

I didn't win but at least I can hold my head up high!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5060
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 30, 2021 9:45 am

I bought a book titled “How To Scam People Online” about three months ago...

It still hasn’t arrived.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5060
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 30, 2021 10:15 am

I know a farmer who claims to have the quietest sheep in the world baa none...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5060
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Aug 30, 2021 10:55 am

Predictive text has become my worst enema!

Fuggletim
Posts: 963
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon Aug 30, 2021 10:19 pm

I hear we had a "Friendly" behind closed doors the other week v the English National Ballet. It finished 2-2.....


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