Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Sep 27, 2020 5:36 pm

So if it's a wedding you can have 15 people. If it's a funeral it's 30. How about this for a workaround...

Get married at a funeral!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Sep 27, 2020 5:36 pm

When one door closes, another door opens...

I need a new car!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Sep 27, 2020 5:37 pm

I can't believe fireworks are going off already...

One was so loud last night it made my dog jump and she knocked my Christmas tree over!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Sep 27, 2020 6:02 pm

For for the memory of DP :(

BREAKING NEWS!:

As of Monday all postmen will be working from home.

They'll be reading your letters and will call you if it's anything important.

WTF
Posts: 406
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Sep 27, 2020 7:08 pm

I've been trying to write a book about wind for years.

But so far I've only managed a draft!

WTF
Posts: 406
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Sun Sep 27, 2020 9:49 pm

I watched a coughing contest on TV between residents of Botany Bay, Whitley Bay and Morecambe Bay.
I love the Great British Bay Cough.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sun Sep 27, 2020 10:57 pm

A bloke tried to start a fight with me in Tesco about which dog food is best...

He squared up to me, giving it the big iams.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 28, 2020 7:34 am

As inventions go, the pneumatic drill was the most groundbreaking .

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 28, 2020 7:36 am

DP leaves and all the postman jokes come :-

My mailman got a sex change.

I guess you'd call him a post-man now.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 28, 2020 7:36 am

I just discovered that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome...

Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing.

WTF
Posts: 406
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Mon Sep 28, 2020 9:49 am

Can’t believe our local pizza shop , it has put up its Christmas menu already !

My favourite, the Good King Wenceslas Pizza

It’s deep and crisp and even!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 28, 2020 12:22 pm

My dentist informed me today that I need a crown.
Finally, someone who understands me.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 28, 2020 12:23 pm

Just bought a Tiger Woods DVD called "My favourite 18 holes."
Turns out it's all about bloody golf.
Total waste of money, please pass this on so others don't get scammed.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2659
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon Sep 28, 2020 12:24 pm

I was walking along the street and a bloke tried to give me a chicken . I thought to myself I'm going to have to make a run for it .

WTF
Posts: 406
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Mon Sep 28, 2020 3:28 pm

Anon E Mouse wrote:
Mon Sep 28, 2020 12:24 pm
I was walking along the street and a bloke tried to give me a chicken . I thought to myself I'm going to have to make a run for it .
I hope you are going to crack another one Anon?


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