Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:21 am

Fuggletim wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 5:34 pm
I inherited a old stuffed dog from an elderly Aunt. It wasn't in tip top condition, but being a quite rare breed, I took it to an antiques dealer for a valuation. He looked it over and upon agreeing it was in a bit of poor state, told me it would get about £30:00 in an auction. However he asked me to guess what it would fetch if it was in good condition?

"Probably sticks and tennis balls!"
Done

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:22 am

80fc wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 8:53 pm
Can anybody tell me me who played Forrest Gump. T.hanks
Done

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:23 am

My wish is to hear 99 people sing "Africa by Toto"
It's something that 100 men or more could never do!!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:24 am

Before the crowbar was invented crows had to drink at home.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:25 am

2 things I hate
1. Lists
2. Irony
3. Maths

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:26 am

Doctor: "Have you been drinking enough fluids lately?"

Me: "That's literally all I drink."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:26 am

I took my wife to see Take That for her birthday. About half an hour in they announced, "Next, we're going to do, A million love songs.."

I thought, don't be a knob Barlow, the last train's at ten o'clock.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 1:13 pm

A man reading a thesaurus saunters into a tavern...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 1:14 pm

When my wife gets out of bed, she likes to put on a school boys uniform, a school cap and speak in a Scottish accent.

She’s always a little krankie in the morning...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2575
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 15, 2020 1:15 pm

Went into the barbers, I said “I want you to cut my hair like David Beckhams”.

He cut my hair and I looked in the mirror!

“David Beckham doesn't have his hair cut like that!!??”

Barber says; “He does if he comes in here!!!”

Fuggletim
Posts: 374
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu Oct 15, 2020 5:51 pm

Anon E Mouse wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:21 am
Fuggletim wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 5:34 pm
I inherited a old stuffed dog from an elderly Aunt. It wasn't in tip top condition, but being a quite rare breed, I took it to an antiques dealer for a valuation. He looked it over and upon agreeing it was in a bit of poor state, told me it would get about £30:00 in an auction. However he asked me to guess what it would fetch if it was in good condition?

"Probably sticks and tennis balls!"
Done
Probably not quite in that format........😅😅😅

Me Mums a Shot
Posts: 90
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:31 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Me Mums a Shot » Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:51 pm

I made my wife's dream come true when we got married in a church.

But you wouldn't have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around.

Me Mums a Shot
Posts: 90
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:31 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Me Mums a Shot » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:09 pm

A weasel walks into a pub and the landlord says,
“Wow I’ve never served a weasle before, what can I get you?”
“Pop”, goes the weasle.

Me Mums a Shot
Posts: 90
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:31 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Me Mums a Shot » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:11 pm

Went for a job interview. They said "We want someone who will fit right in and help maintain the status quo" I said "Whatever you want"

Me Mums a Shot
Posts: 90
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:31 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Me Mums a Shot » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:15 pm

The Magnificent Seven were booked to do an advert for after shave in Liverpool. Only six turned up.

Yul never wore cologne.


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