Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Oct 21, 2020 10:24 am

I've just bought some boots with pieces of metal at the heel of them.
It was a spur of the moment buy!!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Oct 21, 2020 8:21 pm

Nobody has won this weeks ‘Beethoven Lottery’.

So next week, there will be a rollover...

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Oct 21, 2020 8:22 pm

BREAKING NEWS!
Police have discovered the body of a man inside a crate of chickpeas...

They are treating it as hummuside.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Oct 21, 2020 8:23 pm

Frank Sinatra was once asked if he had ever kept herons as pets...

“Egrets, I've had a few...” he replied.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Oct 21, 2020 8:23 pm

Just launched a new product; a corduroy pillow.

It's already making headlines.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 22, 2020 6:41 am

“Winnie The Poohs gone to the Caribbean.”

“Antigua?”

“No, I think he went with Piglet...”

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 22, 2020 8:14 pm

I entered a talent contest, the person who was on before me must've been crap, the audience were still booing all the way through my act!!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 22, 2020 8:15 pm

9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right.

The 10th husband has not been seen since the study was conducted.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 22, 2020 8:16 pm

Throughout history, all castles had one major weakness. The enemy were able to gain entry and attack them via the gift shop.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 22, 2020 8:18 pm

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with police interviewing techniques. And for the benefit of the tape, she is leaving at 21.37hrs.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Oct 22, 2020 8:20 pm

Pharmacy broken into and 1000 bottles of laxative stolen.
Police are looking for a man on the run

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Oct 23, 2020 10:51 am

I entered a fancy dress competition last night dressed in a boiler suit..

I won the overall first prize!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Oct 23, 2020 10:52 am

A Police officer approached me the other day:

"Excuse me sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you for breeding crows."

"What's the charge?" I asked.

"Attempted murder".

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Oct 23, 2020 10:53 am

Seb Coe had '80s Olympics reunion in his home town of Sheffield.
Steve Cram took fish
Tessa Sanderson took chips
Daley Thomson brought mushy peas
& Seb the salt & vinegar

there's a knock at the door

Seb goes to answer

Who is it? they all asked

"oh.. only Fatima wi t'bread."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 2820
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Oct 23, 2020 10:54 am

Witness "I saw an octopus rob a bank this morning!"

Reporter "Did he have a gun?"

Witness "No, but he was well armed!"


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