Boom Boom

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Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:06 am

"Dad, I've got to write an essay about Galileo. What do you know about him?"
"He was just a poor boy from a poor family".

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:07 am

I was at the bus stop this morning and an elderly lady said to me "It's so cold today",
so I said "Yes, winter draws on",
and she replied "Mind your own business young man"

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:08 am

What do you call a man who loves fishing?

ROD 🎣🎣

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:08 am

What was the most useless thing that you bought last year?

Mine was a 2020 year planner!

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:09 am

My neighbour banged on the wall at 4.20am, can you believe that??
Lucky I was still up playing my music....

He banged and shouted "can we have a little respect please"

So I shouted back "I'm not a big Erasure fan, but ok this ones for you” 😂😂👍🏽👍🏽😘😘

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:10 am

Despite how difficult lockdown is proving to be I am still going to do dry January.
Tonight I'm having dry gin, tomorrow I'll have dry white wine, and on Sunday I'll have dry Martini......

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:18 am

Does anyone else tell their family “fake facts” in the hope that they believe them?

I’ve got my lot believing that a tie was originally invented as men often spilt gravy down their shirt and it was like a mini bib! 😂😂😂

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat Jan 09, 2021 10:18 am

I started work in my new job today and one of the first things I heard about the place was that it is haunted. I asked one of the lads if this was true, the conversation went like this, "So tell me mate, is it true about the place being haunted?", "Well in all the years I've worked here I've seen nothing to suggest a haunting", "Oh really and how long have you worked here", "About four hundred years"

Fuggletim
Posts: 529
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Jan 09, 2021 12:24 pm

If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two wrights make?

The first powered flight obviously!

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Jan 10, 2021 9:17 am

Walked in the shop earlier and some bloke threw a pint of milk at me. I know, how dairy.....

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Jan 10, 2021 9:18 am

Two common problems with getting old are as follows.
1. Your memory goes.
2. I can’t remember the other.

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Jan 10, 2021 9:19 am

Just got a phone call from my local police station. They said they want to interview me. I don’t remember applying for a job there, but it sounds promising.

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Jan 10, 2021 9:20 am

It has just been announced that all the tropical birds in London zoo’s avery are to be vaccinated. Apparently there is a pecking order.

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Jan 10, 2021 9:21 am

Once had a job holding down the button on a typewriter so a one-handed author could do her capital letters. It was shift work.

Shots1954
Posts: 649
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sun Jan 10, 2021 9:21 am

I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue. I was surprised.

Australians usually boo meringue.


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