Boom Boom

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SHOTSMAN68
Posts: 140
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 5:43 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by SHOTSMAN68 » Tue May 26, 2020 10:29 pm

What do you call a magic dog
A labracadabrador

How do you get a tissue to dance
You put a boogie in it

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed May 27, 2020 8:01 am

I went to a psychic.

I knocked on her front door.

She yelled: “Who is it?”

So I left.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed May 27, 2020 11:28 pm

I just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave a cake in the oven while I nap on the sofa.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu May 28, 2020 4:04 pm

If you think swimming with dolphins was expensive you should try swimming with sharks. Cost me and arm and a leg.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri May 29, 2020 8:04 am

One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been injured.

We don’t have Oleg to stand on

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri May 29, 2020 8:09 am

Just rang the local restaurant..

"Hello"

"Do you do takeaways?"

"Yes"

"What's 157 - 73?"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri May 29, 2020 11:50 am

I left a packet of Quorn at the supermarket checkout today. I went back and asked the assistant, "Have you seen my vegetarian mince?" She said, "No, but walk up and down that aisle and I'll give you my honest opinion"

shots1965
Posts: 324
Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2013 8:16 pm
Location: Oklahoma USA
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shots1965 » Fri May 29, 2020 2:43 pm

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food here."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat May 30, 2020 8:49 am

Wanted: Skilled craftsmen to manufacture high quality snooker equipment.

Please form an orderly cue.

shotshammo
Posts: 183
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:44 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by shotshammo » Sat May 30, 2020 9:05 am

I said to my doctor, "I think I'm losing my mind". He replied "Never mind".

The start of lock down seems such a long time ago, I can't remember where I put the key.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat May 30, 2020 11:03 am

I went back to the house I grew up in and knocked on the door and asked if it was ok if I went in and had a look around. They said No, and slammed the door shut in my face :(

My parents can be so rude.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat May 30, 2020 11:06 am

The seven dwarfs have been told as from Monday they can meet up in groups of six.
One of them isn’t going to be Happy.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat May 30, 2020 11:07 am

While I’m on the subject :D

In tests 6 out of 7 dwarfs weren’t Happy.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat May 30, 2020 2:15 pm

Q. Why don't Rastafarians go on canal boat holidays?

A. They Dread Locks.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 1027
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat May 30, 2020 2:18 pm

I started a band called 999 megabytes but I still haven’t got a gig.


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