Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

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hepcat
Posts: 665
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2013 4:50 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by hepcat » Tue Apr 26, 2022 1:16 pm

Anon E Mouse wrote:
Sat Apr 23, 2022 11:44 am
Yesterday was awful!

First I got into fight with a man dressed as Shakespeare, then I almost choked on a German sausage.

It just went from bard to wurst.
Speaking of Shakespeare , I heard you solved the age old mystery of who wrote Hamlet-Shakespeare or Bacon-proving beyond doubt it was WS. After your performance in the lead role, they opened up Shakespeare and Bacon's graves and it was Shakespeare that was spinning.

Fuggletim
Posts: 1305
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim » Tue Apr 26, 2022 8:25 pm

I fell asleep in the pub last week, so someone chucked a pint of Guinness over me! It was quite a brewed awakening!

steveshot
Posts: 631
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 9:41 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by steveshot » Tue Apr 26, 2022 8:40 pm

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I am NOT stevieshot

Fuggletim
Posts: 1305
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Fuggletim » Wed Apr 27, 2022 8:15 pm

A horse walks into a bar. That’s why I lost out on an Olympic medal in the Equestrian event at London 2012…..

steveshot
Posts: 631
Joined: Sun Apr 01, 2007 9:41 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by steveshot » Wed Apr 27, 2022 8:55 pm

An old woman walks into the dentists room, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said ‘ I think you have the wrong room’
You put in my husbands teeth last week, she replied. Now you have to remove them.
I am NOT stevieshot

Chalkie
Posts: 253
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Chalkie » Thu Apr 28, 2022 7:37 pm

A husband and wife were golfing, when suddenly the wife asks, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said "No Sweetie."
The woman said "I'm sure you would."
So the man said "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy ****....What a ride!"

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6405
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Apr 29, 2022 11:36 am

Puns about ‘Riverdance’?

I flatley refuse to post them.
Roll on next season.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 6405
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Apr 29, 2022 5:45 pm

Most ornamental figurines found in gardens are only 30 cm tall and wear red hats.

It’s a little gnome fact...
Roll on next season.

Richard Petty
Posts: 2763
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Apr 29, 2022 5:57 pm

I'm really disappointed with the new Haribo Star Wars sweets collection…

They're all chewy!
The old saying goes "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you will never please all the people all the time." In fact sometimes it seems impossible to even please some of the people any of the time

Richard Petty
Posts: 2763
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Apr 29, 2022 5:59 pm

Highlighter pens are going to be a real problem one day, mark my words!
The old saying goes "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you will never please all the people all the time." In fact sometimes it seems impossible to even please some of the people any of the time

Richard Petty
Posts: 2763
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Apr 29, 2022 6:02 pm

I was buying my wife some underwear. I asked the shop assistant, "Are these knickers satin?"

"No," she said. "They're brand new!"
The old saying goes "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you will never please all the people all the time." In fact sometimes it seems impossible to even please some of the people any of the time

Richard Petty
Posts: 2763
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Apr 29, 2022 6:04 pm

Received a text from the wife saying she was breaking up with me…

Imagine how relieved I was when a couple of minutes later she texted 'Sorry I sent that to the wrong number'!
The old saying goes "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you will never please all the people all the time." In fact sometimes it seems impossible to even please some of the people any of the time

Old Bob
Posts: 1648
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:23 pm
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Old Bob » Fri Apr 29, 2022 6:04 pm

Richard Petty wrote:
Fri Apr 29, 2022 6:02 pm
I was buying my wife some underwear. I asked the shop assistant, "Are these knickers satin?"

"No," she said. "They're brand new!"
The old ones are the best, Richard 8)

Richard Petty
Posts: 2763
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Richard Petty » Fri Apr 29, 2022 6:11 pm

Old Bob wrote:
Fri Apr 29, 2022 6:04 pm
Richard Petty wrote:
Fri Apr 29, 2022 6:02 pm
I was buying my wife some underwear. I asked the shop assistant, "Are these knickers satin?"

"No," she said. "They're brand new!"
The old ones are the best, Richard 8)
I would like to think you are referring to the joke but I suspect your referring to the knickers :lol:
The old saying goes "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you will never please all the people all the time." In fact sometimes it seems impossible to even please some of the people any of the time

Graham Stovold
Posts: 39
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2022 9:58 am
Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)

Post by Graham Stovold » Fri Apr 29, 2022 6:14 pm

During a round of golf one of a foursome of ladies teed off but sliced her shot into a group of men playing at an adjacent hole.She saw one of the group collapse to the ground in agony clutching his groin with both hands.Worried about his wellbeing she went over to enquire about his situation.The man was groaning in agony.The woman explained that she was a physiotherapist and would be prepared to assist to see if she could relieve his pain.The man,who was in considerable pain,refused but the lady insisted and he allowed her to see how she could help.She loosened his clothing and proceeded to massage gently the affected area.After a few minutes the lady asked the man how he was feeling after her treatment.
The man replied,"Very nice,thank you.But I still think my thumb is broken."


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