Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 5284
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:01 pm

I once set my house on fire while cooking oysters, and it made the local news…

That's my clam to flame!

HarryTom
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by HarryTom » Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:01 pm

I'm against hunting,in fact i'm a saboteur.....I go out the night before and shoot the fox

HarryTom
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by HarryTom » Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:06 pm

You know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again ? Well, the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them

HarryTom
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by HarryTom » Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:08 pm

My favourite film is the Clint Eastwood classic, 'unforgiven' At the moment they're working on a sequel. It's called ''Look, i said i'm sorry''

Fuggletim
Posts: 1031
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Sep 25, 2021 1:21 pm

I was in Sainsbury's today. When I had paid, the cashier told me "Strip down and face me."

I had got down to my briefs before I realised she was actually talking about my Nectar card....

Fuggletim
Posts: 1031
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sun Sep 26, 2021 10:16 pm

I had a fried tyre last night at a restaurant. Think it was Michelin starred.....

HarryTom
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by HarryTom » Mon Sep 27, 2021 10:03 am

I got home from work and found a burglar pressing one of my shirts, So i punched him, because you've got to strike while the iron's hot !

HarryTom
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by HarryTom » Mon Sep 27, 2021 10:12 am

The Midwife said to me..''have you ever been present at the birth of a baby''..I said yes, once,it was dark then suddenly very light.

Richard Petty
Posts: 2000
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Sep 27, 2021 1:07 pm

I asked my friend what it is like living in North Korea…

He said, "Can't complain!"

Richard Petty
Posts: 2000
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Sep 27, 2021 1:08 pm

My missus is leaving me because of my obsession with TV Police dramas...

For the benefit of the tape, she just left the room!

Richard Petty
Posts: 2000
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Mon Sep 27, 2021 1:12 pm

Where would you put Strike it Lucky on the list of all time game shows?

Top, middle or bottom?

WTF
Posts: 1057
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:17 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by WTF » Mon Sep 27, 2021 1:28 pm

A couple of moped drivers were cuddling in a petrol station.. apparently it's only place you can get to stroke......

HarryTom
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by HarryTom » Mon Sep 27, 2021 2:47 pm

I went to the local petrol stration and there was nothing coming out of the nozel, i said to the guy in the kiosk,''have you got your pump's on'' He said no,i'm wearing flip plops

HarryTom
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by HarryTom » Mon Sep 27, 2021 2:57 pm

I went to the doctors and told him, ''last nite i had a dream i was eating a large marshmallow '' He Said ''Don't tell me, when you woke up your pillow was gone '' I said no, When i woke up,one of my large marshmallows was missing !

HarryTom
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:18 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by HarryTom » Mon Sep 27, 2021 3:05 pm

I saw this cannibal biting his nails, i said ''What's eating you '' he said i am


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