Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
Our neighbour's dog pooed in our garden, so the missus told me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence...
I don't see what that solved, we've still got dog poo in our garden and the neighbours now have our shovel!
I don't see what that solved, we've still got dog poo in our garden and the neighbours now have our shovel!
The old saying goes "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you will never please all the people all the time." In fact sometimes it seems impossible to even please some of the people any of the time
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
My mate told me that he failed his exam in Aboriginal music.
I said didja redo it ?
I said didja redo it ?
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
I've just had a letter from a herb and spice company, saying that I owe them £100...
If I don't pay within a week, they're sending the bay leafs round!
If I don't pay within a week, they're sending the bay leafs round!
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
My wife has left me for another man.
All that lies ahead is a miserable pointless life.
And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub every night with my mates.
All that lies ahead is a miserable pointless life.
And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub every night with my mates.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy ****....What a ride!"
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
A guy goes to a nightclub
The bouncer says .. You’ve had too many
The guy says too many drinks?
No, Too many birthdays
The bouncer says .. You’ve had too many
The guy says too many drinks?
No, Too many birthdays
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
I told my wife I'd heard the postman had slept with every woman on the street, except for one.
She said: 'I bet it's that stuck-up bitch at no. 17'
She said: 'I bet it's that stuck-up bitch at no. 17'
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
I wish my hairdresser friend wouldn’t serve lunch in her salon. We had Sunday roast with all the trimmings.
I'm here all week. Or at least until I'm banned.
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
Have you noticed how many Formula One drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?
Stirling Moss.
Lewis Hamilton.
Eddie Irvine.
Ayr Town centre...
Stirling Moss.
Lewis Hamilton.
Eddie Irvine.
Ayr Town centre...
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
I’ve never had great expectations for my children. However we do have a complete set of Dicken’s other books….
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
We can't afford the set of Dickens Books as we have fallen on Hard Times
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
Winston goes to church and the vicar says 'whats wrong my son'....Winston says 'i want you to prey for my hearing " The vicar put's his hands on Winston's ear's and prey's hard for ten minutes ,' So how is your hearing now ask's the vicar' 'I don't know say's Winston, it not until next Wednesday !
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
John is playing golf with the vicar, he misses a 3 foot putt,and say's 'damn. missed the bugger.......The vicar warns him, 'keep talking like thatand God will open up the heavens and strike you dead with lightning '....... John then misses a 2 foot put and repeats 'damn, missed the bugger' Sure enough, God opens the heavens and sends down a lightning bolt, but it strikes the vicar and he falls over dead....' damn, missed the bugger '. God said !
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
I went to a Halloween Party where everyone was like a sore thumb........Not me..no,,i stuck out like a vicar !
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
A vicar was preaching on the Demon Drink, saying Whisky can kill but water can't...To prove it he had a glass of each. He dropped a worm into the water and it wriggled about,He dropped a worm into the Whisky...Stone Dead ! A person at the back jumped up shouting 'i''ll have the Whisky,I've been having trouble with worms all my life !
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Re: Boom Boom Mk2 (The laughs continue)
When you have Monkey Pox. it is alway's exciting to hear the doctor say,'Dear God,what the hell is that !!