Boom Boom

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Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat May 22, 2021 12:40 pm

I remember when I was at school we had to read "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens for an exam. To be honest the results weren't as good as I had been hoping.....

Shots1954
Posts: 949
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat May 22, 2021 10:17 pm

I am a Senager. (Senior teenager)
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work.
I am paid an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a driver’s licence and my own car.
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. Life is great.
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don’t have grey hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why I went in there.
I have more friends I should send this to but right now I can’t remember their names.
Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you or did you send it to me?

Have a good day. Pass this on to your senior friends – and the younger ones so that they can know what is in store for them!

Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon May 24, 2021 11:45 am

I found a great website about rivers! I'm watching a live stream right now!

Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Tue May 25, 2021 12:44 pm

My other half dropped the washing basket as she went out into the garden! I saw the whole thing unfold!

Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu May 27, 2021 10:18 am

I have about 500 x Sausage rolls, 500 Scotch Eggs and 2000 Cocktail Sausages for sale. Apparently it was panic buying; not picnic buying at the supermarket...

Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Thu May 27, 2021 10:07 pm

Very sad to see the author of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" (Eric Carle) passed away today. He was once asked about a sequel to his book, but was of the view that it was best to leave the readers "wanting more."

bordon shot
Posts: 560
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:13 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by bordon shot » Fri May 28, 2021 2:13 pm

The man who invented Benylin has sadly died.
There will be no coffin at his funeral

Richard Petty
Posts: 1728
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri May 28, 2021 3:06 pm

My neighbour was banging on my wall at 4:20am this morning, can you believe that.
Luckily I was still up playing music, he was shouting "Can we have a little respect"
So I shouted back. "I’m not a big Erasure fan but ok this ones for you"…..

Richard Petty
Posts: 1728
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Fri May 28, 2021 3:09 pm

Just had the house decorated.
The decorator was a furloughed BA pilot, he made a lovely job of the landing

bordon shot
Posts: 560
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 9:13 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by bordon shot » Fri May 28, 2021 3:32 pm

Want to know how I smuggle chocolate into the cinema?

I have a few twix up my sleeve

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4866
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat May 29, 2021 9:39 am

I've just joined a new band, we're called 'Cat's Eyes'...

We just play middle of the road stuff.

BillB
Posts: 344
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2007 1:04 pm
Location: Herne Bay, Kent
Re: Boom Boom

Post by BillB » Sat May 29, 2021 3:17 pm

Fuggletim wrote:
Sat May 22, 2021 12:40 pm
I remember when I was at school we had to read "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens for an exam. To be honest the results weren't as good as I had been hoping.....
Now I know why you became a Shots Supporter (He! He! He! He!]

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4866
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Mon May 31, 2021 2:05 pm

My Twitter password has been hacked again...

This will be the third time I’ve had to rename the dog...

Fuggletim
Posts: 925
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Mon May 31, 2021 2:49 pm

It's a little known fact that Henry Cooper was nearly arrested in Pizza Hut a few years ago for assault. He was asked if he would like to have a box for his left overs....

Richard Petty
Posts: 1728
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Wed Jun 02, 2021 6:13 pm

I was registering for a store card the other day and had to give my details to the assistant.

"When is your birthday" she asked, "9th January" I replied. "And what year" she asked , shaking my head in amazement I told her, "Every year".

Where do they get there staff from these days.


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