Boom Boom

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Richard Petty
Posts: 1321
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Sat May 15, 2021 12:58 pm

80fc wrote:
Sat May 15, 2021 8:37 am
If you take the shell off a snail can they move faster or are they a bit sluggish
Snails are useless at carrying anything, that's why they are known in France as "Less Cargo"

Fuggletim
Posts: 828
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat May 15, 2021 2:38 pm

I decided to leave my job and my family and start growing bananas in the Caribbean. Some reckon it was just a mid fyffe crisis....

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4565
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat May 15, 2021 9:48 pm

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 899
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Sun May 16, 2021 7:01 am

The funeral of the inventor of Optrex took place today.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the place.

Dr Jim Royle
Posts: 899
Joined: Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:21 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Dr Jim Royle » Sun May 16, 2021 7:03 am

Would you believe it? I’ve been sacked from the Pasta Factory for a fusilli mistakes.

Fuggletim
Posts: 828
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sun May 16, 2021 6:05 pm

Bought an extra large barge pole! Thought I'd push the boat out!

This was shortly after I had swapped my old boat for a new one which I hadn't seen, but I thought it was worth a punt.......

Fuggletim
Posts: 828
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Wed May 19, 2021 6:48 pm

A landscape contractor said he could dig a hole in my garden and fill it with water for only £50! It was a nice gesture and I am sure he meant well.......

Shots1954
Posts: 895
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat May 22, 2021 10:55 am

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

Up his sleevies......

Shots1954
Posts: 895
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat May 22, 2021 10:55 am

Have you ever tried eating a clock?

It's very time consuming......

Shots1954
Posts: 895
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat May 22, 2021 10:56 am

How do you make Holy Water?

You boil the hell out of it!

Shots1954
Posts: 895
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat May 22, 2021 10:57 am

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books

He has only got his shelf to blame......

Shots1954
Posts: 895
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:31 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Shots1954 » Sat May 22, 2021 10:58 am

Guess why I like jokes about lifts?

They work on so many levels.....

Richard Petty
Posts: 1321
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Sat May 22, 2021 11:18 am

I saw a book today about a transsexual with a speech impediment.

It was called "Man or Myth"

Richard Petty
Posts: 1321
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Sat May 22, 2021 11:21 am

Just had some sad news my grief counsellor has died, luckily he was so good I don't give a toss

Richard Petty
Posts: 1321
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Sat May 22, 2021 11:23 am

If you cant find your dog just open the fridge door, he will be right behind you


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