Boom Boom

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Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4566
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Tue Jun 08, 2021 10:08 pm

My friend was having difficulty feeding her baby with a spoon so I said "Try doing the ‘Airplane’."

She said, "’Airplane’? What is it?"

"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980s but that's not important right now."

Fuggletim
Posts: 828
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Tue Jun 08, 2021 10:23 pm

I don't know why I was dismissed from the Royal Navy because as Submarine Pilot, my work was always judged as "Sub Standard."

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4566
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Wed Jun 09, 2021 7:23 am

I’ve just successfully bred a cross between a crocodile and a homing pigeon.

I bet that’ll come back to bite me...

Fuggletim
Posts: 828
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Wed Jun 09, 2021 10:39 pm

My drinking got so bad that I decided to join the AA. By mistake, I joined the "Automobile Association" but it didn't really matter as I am now well on the road to recovery....

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4566
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 10, 2021 1:19 pm

My Nan hates her new stairlift, drives her up the blooming wall.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4566
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Thu Jun 10, 2021 2:27 pm

My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of the stuff!

It's enough to make a mango crazy.

Old Bob
Posts: 824
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:23 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Old Bob » Thu Jun 10, 2021 6:16 pm

Fuggletim wrote:
Tue Jun 08, 2021 7:18 pm
My Daughter asked me to post this, so sorry if it isn't up to the usual standard 😃

I got a job at Old McDonalds farm. I am CIEIO......
Reminds me of the old one about Paddy on Mastermind. His specialist topic was agriculture. First question:

Presenter: Paddy, how do you spell FARM?
Paddy: Err ... Jeez ... that's a hard one, to be sure ... err ... err ... hold on! Got it! It's E.I.E.I.O!

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4566
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Fri Jun 11, 2021 8:59 am

I was doing a crossword in the pub and said to my Scottish friend;
“I'm stuck on one, ‘trapped on a desert island, eight letters, starting with M’ “

He said “Marooned”

I replied “Thanks, I'll have a pint of lager then !”

Chalkie
Posts: 129
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:50 am
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Chalkie » Fri Jun 11, 2021 2:51 pm

I gave my wife £50 and told her to go out on Saturday and leave me in peace while I watched the Euro`s football.. .
"I won't need that much," she laughed...
"You will," I said. "It's got to last you four weeks."...

Fuggletim
Posts: 828
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Fri Jun 11, 2021 6:24 pm

I have tried to embrace change, but I still prefer £20 notes.

Anon E Mouse
Posts: 4566
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:29 pm
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Anon E Mouse » Sat Jun 12, 2021 1:45 pm

Boris described his first meeting with Biden as a 'breath of fresh air'
Just what you need after a massive Trump.

Richard Petty
Posts: 1321
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Sat Jun 12, 2021 2:57 pm

A man suffering from stress is told by his psychiatrist that his problems are being caused by being addicted to social media.

"Sorry" says the man "I don't follow you"

Richard Petty
Posts: 1321
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Sat Jun 12, 2021 2:58 pm

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

Richard Petty
Posts: 1321
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:12 pm
Location: Farnborough
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Richard Petty » Sat Jun 12, 2021 3:08 pm

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Fuggletim
Posts: 828
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:16 pm
Location: Whitehill
Re: Boom Boom

Post by Fuggletim » Sat Jun 12, 2021 11:48 pm

If you go onto Google and type in "Medieval boy servant", you normally get a message saying "Page not found."


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